- fresh direct delivery guy: *rings doorbell*
- Olivia: MOM GET OUT HERE!! THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO FIND A HUSBAND!!!!
I thought Amazing Grace was a love song about a girl named Grace until I was like 15
You guys I woke up this morning with like 2 dozen huuuge new mosquito bites and I was like, “ahh, WHAT THE HELL”
and then I FOUND the mosquito in my room, the fucker was just waddling along on foot because it was TOO HEAVY WITH MY BLOOD TO BE ABLE TO FLY
So anyways it was trapped flightless on the bed and the cat ate it and it was really satisfying, Monkey is a good cat
I am very itchy
man can we collectively join together to change the name of “watersports” to something a little less misleading
i remember the first time i saw that in the description of a fic
i was like “so what, do the characters go to a waterpark or something? kinda weird that the author felt the need to specifically point that out”
the characters did not go to a waterpark.
Any time I do any sort of body hair removal I spend my whole shower thinking about how to negotiate between people having the right to make their own personal choices and the inevitability that those personal choices will be informed by the patriarchy and I end up feeling very “Welp, controlled by the patriarchy if you do, controlled by the patriarchy if you don’t.”
Or you could just use your own damn brain to do whatever the hell you want with your hair?
- me: i don't even care. i'm not going to talk about this anymore.
- me: and you know what else? [2000 word rant]
- 14 years old: I'm young but I know what I want. This isn't that hard, I'm all grown up already and have everything figured out.
- 17 years old: Well, this is a little harder than I thought. School is almost ending. What am I going to do with my life?
- 21 years old: What the fuck is going on? Where are my socks?